On Twenty Twenty Cricket

If one-day cricket was pyjama cricket, then Twenty20 is underwear cricket.

This cricket is like a burger, you can have it once a week but for a whole meal, you need to return to Test cricket. More than once a week, and it will give you a tummy ache.

Sidhuisms in Management

The biggest room in this world is the room for improvement.

An optimist is a person who calls bullshit, a fertilizer.

The secret of success doesn’t lie in doing the good work, its selecting right people to do the good work.

In the Parliament

The real bone of contention is that there cannot be any fruit without a root.

“Sir, you may have 40 million reasons for failure, not a single excuse,” he told Commerce and Industry Minister Kamal Nath who said the proposal for a SEZ in Amritsar has been approved in principle.

Really Nasty Ones

As a rule man is a fool,
When its hot he wants it cool,
And when its cool he wants it hot,
Always wants what is not!

A fifty is like kissing a virgin, you just have to go on.

Warne is a victim of his own success. He has taken to women the way an ostrich takes to the skies.

If my aunty had been a man she would have been my uncle.

That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.

There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it’s that of an incoming train which will run them over.

Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.

This quote was made after Ganguly called Dravid for a run and midway sent him back and Dravid was runout in the third test against the West Indies at Barbados.
“Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope.”

The world is all about mind and matter; I don’t mind and you don’t matter. When Farooque Sheikh, host of the talk show Jeena isi ka naam hai asked him what he thinks of those who criticize his style of commentary.

Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!

You got to choose between tightening your belt or losing your pants.

He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.

The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.

This bowler bowls so slow that the batsmen have enough time to call home and talk to their wives between every delivery

Pitches are like husband!!! They keep slowing down!!!

His slower ball was so slow that my mama can run faster than that

His footwork is like a car in a traffic jam

The ball missed the bat like a kiss in a hindi movie

He is a constipated batsman/bowler, put’s in a lot of effort and has very little results to show for in the end.

When a loud appeal was rejected:
Big outcry, no outcome!

Good intentions die unless utilized.

The gap between bat and pad is so much that I would have driven a car through it… !!

Women and their clothes

Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.

Comments should be like skirts. Short enough to keep your attention, but long enough to cover the subject

Statistics are like bikinis… what they reveal is suggestive, what they hide is essential!

Wickets are like wives – you never know which way they will turn!

The Sri Lankans are running between the wickets as if their wives are chasing them with a belan.

Taxi is his favourite

Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taxi meter.

He is like Indian three-wheeler which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!

Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taxi meter.

He is like a fighterplane with the speed of an autorickshaw.

On Indians

The ball whizzes past like a bumble bee and the Indians are in the sea.

The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin in a haystack.

The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala..one falls and everything else falls!

INDIAN CRICKET IS LIKE INDIAN MONSOON, WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS, OR ELSE THERE IS DROUGHT

CRICKET IS THE GAME OF GLORIOUS UNCERTAINITIES! GLORIOUS-WHEN SRILANKANS PLAY, UNCERTAIN-WHEN INDIA PLAY

In London they drive on the left, in India we drive on what is left

Indians should now be on their toes like midgets at a urinal.

For the indians now it’s ‘fightback’ or ‘flightback’

The ball whizzes past like a bumble bee and the Indians are in the sea.

Yuvraj Singh – The pied piper of Punjab!

Harbhajan – The sardar from Jalandhar !

On S.Ramesh’s diving catch in 1st innings of 2nd test vs. Sri Lanka:
He flew like a bird and plucked it out of thin air.

Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goal keeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.

The Indians are jelling together as a cohesive unit.

Dravid has hit this shot as straight as a candle.

When he fielded well as a substitute for Sachin Tendulkar in the 1 dayers:
Ajit Agarkar is as fresh as a daisy.

Commenting on Ganguly after he was out for a low score in the 2nd Test against Zimbabwe:
…Looks like a brooding hen over a china egg.
Why a China egg?
Because nothing will hatch out of it!

According to Navjot, Sourav Ganguly is “The Burden of Calamity”

In Bulawayo, when India beat Zimbabwe by eight wickets to take a 1-0 lead in the two-Test series:
India have certainly erased the tag of tigers at home, pussy cats abroad!

On Sachin Tendulkar

Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss without a Squeeze.

When Sachin hit a good shot against Zimbabwe: “And that is the vintage Sachin we all know !”

Commenting on an injured Tendulkar: “A fallen lighthouse is more dangerous than a reef.”

In reference to spectators flocking to watch the little genius bat: “Tendulkar is the pied piper!”

One comment he made that they picked up in the papers over here was regarding a shot Tendulker played off his toes: “he played that like a dwarf at a urinal.”

On Kiwi’s

The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world which does not have wings!

New Zealanders have their limits, The kiwis are the birds that cannot fly!

About Chris Harris he said: “He is a dibbly dobbly bowler.”

In India’s last match against New Zealand: “New Zealanders are like bicycles in a cycle stand – one falls down and the complete row will be down!”

To Martin Crowe in a match against New Zealand: “India is going to crush the Kiwis and Martin will need a hanky at that time!”
(Later he offered a towel instead of a hanky when NZ scored 209)

To Martin Crowe: “The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world which does not have wings!”

Some Okie dokie ones

You cannot make Omlets without breaking the eggs.

He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.

One, who doesn’t throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.

Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.

Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.

The cat with gloves catches no mice.

Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.

You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.

If only he could learn how to play, he would make a great player!

They will not only come back home with their cup, but with the opposition’s cherries as well

On the 3rd day of 3rd test match – the indian spectators are as boisterous as a dead dodo

U can take the tiger out of the jungle, but u can’t take the jungle out of the tiger

Its very difficult to kill a man who is hell bent upon committing suicide!

This quote was made after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire, ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul ‘NOT OUT’ in the second test at Port of Spain, T&T. “Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands.”

Commenting on Sri Lankans as demons on the slow and sluggish pitches: “When you are dining with the demon you’ve got to have a long spoon!”

When Atapattu ran Jayasuriya out: “He has thrown him to the wolves”.

Prasad beat a Sri Lankan batsman: “He opened him like a can of beans”.

Muralitharan bowling to the last Indian pair: “The wily fox is back. Its an ill omen when a fox licks its lambs”.

We are all Adam’s children — it’s just the silk that makes all the difference!

Right now he’s looking like a Cheshire cat that’s had loads of cream!

In the midst of a verbal duel with Tony Greig: “If ifs and buts were pots and pans, there would be no tinkers!”.

Applauding Reetinder Singh Sodhi’s fighting spirit: “Young Ricky will fight a rattlesnake and give him the first two bites!”.

And when Ricky took a wicket: “He is flowing like a river – simply unstoppable!”

About the Zimbabwean batsmen: “Cats on a hot tin roof…”

Talking about the distribution of money in the Indian cricket team: “Money is like manure. Its no good unless you spread it!”

Talking about the tail of the Indian batting order: “They are so timid, they wouldn’t say boo to a goose!”

When Dravid nicked Bond through the slips for 4 from a full half volley, “That’s Ok from Bond, in order to catch a trout you must be prepared to lose a fly”

“Gamblers they Are like Toilets BROKE one Day Flush The Next”, Navjot Sidhu Talks About The decision To Bring On Harbhajan Singh Into The attack During The 1st Test In Wellington New Zealand.

In the orchard of opportunity, you can’t wait for the fruit to drop.

I lean on statistics like a drunken man leans on a lamppost, only for support, not illumination

He has a backlift like an octopus falling out of a tree, all over the place!

He’s wallowing in foolishness like a rhino in an African pool.

There is always free cheese in a mousetrap

Come to my parlour said the spider to the fly

A dog kennel is no place to hide a sausage

You can never unscramble eggs.

Fattest pigs go to the butcher first.

A good lather is half the shave…

As cool as a cucumber, as wily as a a fox!

This shot was as sweet as tooti frooti!

Great feathers make great birds!

As crisp as a cracker.

The pitch is as dead as a dodo.

My idea of a bird is 36-24-36.

As innocent as freshly laid eggs.

All that comes from a cow is not milk.

As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.

A girl born beautiful is half married

Some more which readers contributed

You may have 40 million reasons for failure, not a single excuse

On West Indies “They are like a “golden drum” which makes a lot of noise but was hollow inside”.

A fly in the soup’s better than no meat at all.

Flaming youth cooks its own goose.

Strong men and waterfalls channel their own paths.

Its not the early bird that catches the worm, but a smart one.

No one reads a book to reach the middle. Ending is the most important
part of the story.

Character is not made in a crisis, it is exhibited.

There is no point in aiming at the target if you are loaded with blanks.

God is always on the side of the heavier battallion.

It is always difficult to dance on a crooked floor.

Small leaks can sink large ships.

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This was initially started on *.* and will try to maintain it in future being a fan myself. Keep sending in more Sidhuism’s, would love to collect all of’em categorized at one place.